Squashdate 2008.1.12

'Coach' Clement urged me to write a squash journal last week and I promised I would despite how I drag my feet writing anything. Not surprisingly, I had started one during my first year of learning the game over four years ago now.  That would make it my 36 years of age when I took my first lesson with Richard. By fencing time, I had already won a novice tournament and qualified the sectionals with fours years of fencing under my lame. In contrast, my squash is now just reaching 3.55, probably lower since Saturday's lost to Steven.

So what do I say in this journal? I think Niki whom I affectionately call coach Clement, wants me to write down the things I learned on court and during lessons - techniques, psychologies, and training tips, but first I want to vent.

I can't say I liked squash the first I laid eyes on the game. It looked like a slow and pointless game. It was, however the perfect game for me because it was accessible. I was taking tennis lessons and had difficulty getting a partner to play with.  Lots of squash players were playing pick up games and Richard was pleasant enough to give newcomers lessons. Instantly I found a purpose. I was determined to get good enough at it to compete in tournaments like I once did in fencing.

So what have I achieved? Thinking back I can say I regained something I thought I had lost for good, my mobility. Ever since 1992 when I fractured my left knee cap, I limp during any form of running.  Steadily the squash drills, conditioning classes, and lessons brought back more and more strength in my left knee, until one day I realized I was lunging again on it.  Then last year Niki suggested I run intervals around the track. After a few weeks, I was running again without the brace and without the limp in my gait.  I can hardly believe it. Today although both knees feel more aches and pain, they are stronger than they have been over the past 15 years. Today I weigh a few pounds lighter and step with a bit more agility.  All of this means I have a real chance to play some great squash.

I suppose I wouldn't be keeping a squash journal if I were already playing great squash. Far from playing great squash I find myself confronting some old demons. Cutting to the chase, I came face to face with my own laziness, fleeting focus and concentration, lack of mental toughness, and self induced performance anxiety. I'm sure I have many more faults, not the least of which is being impatient with myself and my coaches. Somedays I see Richard's lips move, but I'm sure he's saying 'blah blah blah blah', and I'm saying 'yah yah yah'. Running through Richard's drills, thoughts constantly switches to 'why do I have to do this boring slow tiresome drill? I'm sure I'd prove my squash if he'd just push me harder.'  And thus I discover the first of my weaknesses.  I'm impatient with the way the game should be played, and I lack the mental stamina to stay focused on the things I'm taught to do.  I couldn't even endure and be patient through a 5 minute progressive drill with Richard let alone face a real game.